These are hard times to raise a Catholic family. Parents today are carrying real burdens: Rising costs, economic uncertainty, demanding work schedules, cultural confusion, and the constant pressure to give their children every possible advantage.

The anxiety is not imaginary. According to the inflation-adjusted USDA’s “Expenditures on Children and Families” report, the average estimated cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 in America is currently $320,000 per child.

For many parents, that number simply confirms what they already feel at the grocery store and the gas pump, and one of the results is that people are having fewer children. Birthrates across the Western world are plummeting.

My wife and I feel the stress. We have been blessed with seven children, but if we took these cost estimates too seriously, we probably would have stopped somewhere around having one-and-a-half children.

Thankfully, children are not line items on a spreadsheet. They are eternal souls, gifts entrusted to us by God.

Financial pressure, however, is only one part of the challenge. A deeper worry for many Catholic parents is spiritual. Many children raised in Catholic homes do not continue practicing the faith as adults.

Religious affiliation has declined across the United States for decades, but the decline for Catholics is among the steepest.

A survey from 2022 shows that only 62 percent of those raised Catholic still identify as Catholic in adulthood, and only 11 percent of them attend Mass weekly.

The crisis for the Church is real. Families are having fewer children, and many Catholic children are drifting away.

The role of parents

So, what can Catholic parents do? Before answering, it helps to remember that it has always been costly to live the vocation of marriage and to raise children.

Every age has had its own burdens. In pre-industrial agricultural societies, children often contributed economically to the household, but families also faced dangers that are difficult for us to imagine today: High infant and maternal mortality, disease, poverty, and hard physical labor.

Catholic families never flourished because the surrounding circumstances were easy. They flourished when ordinary fathers and mothers were faithful despite their circumstances.

How can we be faithful as Catholic parents in these difficult times? The first and most important thing

Catholic parents can do is also the simplest: Live the Faith. Take your Faith seriously and live it with sincerity. Pray daily, go to Mass weekly, and get to Confession frequently. Your children are watching.

Research on religious transmission consistently points to the family as the most important influence on whether children carry faith into adulthood.

Parish programs, Catholic schools, and youth ministry can all be tremendous helps, but they are most effective when they reinforce a faith that is already being practiced in the home.

This does not mean the home must be perfect. In fact, children do not need parents who pretend to be saints. They need parents who are honest about the need for grace.

Family Rosaries may be chaotic. Toddlers may melt down at Mass. Teenagers may ask hard questions. Parents may lose their patience and need to apologize. None of this disqualifies a family from holiness. It is often the very place where holiness is learned.

The second thing Catholic parents can do is love their spouse and strengthen their marriage.

One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is a strong, faithful, and affectionate marriage.

The Sacrament of Matrimony is a school of love and the foundation on which children learn to build their own lives.

Too many families exhaust themselves trying to provide every possible educational, athletic, and social opportunity for their children, while neglecting one of the most important things of all: the health of their marriage.

For Catholic parents, strengthening marriage is not separate from raising children in the faith.

When spouses serve one another, remain faithful through difficult seasons, and place Christ at the center of their home, they give their children a living image of covenant love.

Practically, this means couples should protect their marriage: Making time to talk, praying together, enjoying each other, and finding help early when conflict arises.

Couples should work hard to maintain friendship at the heart of the marriage.

The spiritual health of the home is built on the health of the husband and wife who form it.

Retreat opportunity

If you are looking to invest in your marriage and further strengthen the foundation of your family, the Diocese of Madison is hosting “Navigating US,” offering a marriage retreat on Saturday and Sunday, Sept. 19 and 20.

Registration is required. Go to madisondiocese.org/navigatingus to register and for more information.

Navigating US is a fun, highly interactive relationship program designed to help couples build deeper connection, stronger communication, and practical skills that last a lifetime.

Whether your marriage is thriving or you feel stuck in old patterns, Navigating US gives you tools you can use immediately to create a happier, healthier relationship.