“God has to have a sense of humor.” For Tom Pietras, the way God arranges things can lead to genuine joy and humor, even in the midst of a seven-year journey of caring for his wife, who has Alzheimer’s disease.

One way God showed up for him was through a truly extraordinary getaway hockey trip — the kind of experience that defies being called a coincidence.

Caring for Julie

Tom, a member of St. Cletus Parish who attends Mass at Holy Mother of Consolation Church in Oregon, is the caregiver for his wife, Julie.

They’ve been married for nearly 36 years.

Julie was already a cancer survivor when they both retired; mere days into their retirement, she was found to have brain tumors.

Then came the Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

Julie has had the disease for the last seven years, and she’s only 64.

Tom’s mother-in-law and father both had dementia, but for Tom, “There are seismic differences between caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s and caring for a spouse. We love our parents, but we’re in love with our spouse.”

The two of them don’t have children, and their siblings don’t live close by.

While Julie lives in a memory care facility, without other family the bulk of the caregiving rests squarely on Tom’s shoulders.

Tom prays that he will be able to continue to care for her as long as she needs.

“I hope that there is a little bit of a link between me and St. Simeon, who, when he asks to see the Savior of the world, God granted him that wish. I don’t think there’s a day that I don’t think or pray to God, ‘Please keep me alive through the duration of Julie’s journey.’ Being that we didn’t have kids, I want to be there when she dies and to bring her compassion and peace as her journey gets worse . . . I’m hoping . . . that I get the chance to be a sort of modern-day Simeon.”

With a long history of caregiving under his belt, Tom’s aware of the need to take care of himself as well.

He’s frank about his support system — which includes therapy and his “spiritual therapists,” as he jokingly calls Fr. Randy Budnar and Fr. David Wanish, both of whom serve St. Cletus Parish.

One of the things he has been told repeatedly — and heartily agrees with — is “the best caregiver is a healthy one.”

One of the elements that he was trying to incorporate into his support system was a getaway trip of some kind.

He knew that such a respite would help him care for Julie even better, and he planned a number of them.

Unfortunately, one by one, they all had to be canceled for various reasons. No less than 20 opportunities had to be turned down.

As his frustration mounted, Tom was initially angry — why was this happening?

The diagnosis itself was already incredibly difficult.

“The days are roller coasters, highs and lows, more lows than highs.”

But he tried to look beyond himself and find ways to give to others.

“I started to intentionally do more things for other people, even outside of Julie’s care . . . That’s when evangelization really took hold in me, because even though you shouldn’t be doing things for selfish reasons, I believe God helps those who help others. And by myself now helping others . . . He’s rewarded me by being more calm and accepting, and willing to share with others how I’m getting through this journey.”

A trip he couldn’t have planned

Eventually, another opportunity arose for a chance to get away for a few days.

Tom’s an avid hockey fan, specifically of his alma mater, Western Michigan University.

In 2025, Western Michigan made the Frozen Four, the semifinals of the NCAA tournament for college hockey, for the first time in the school’s history.

Tom thought immediately of going, but he worried.

If anything happened to Julie, and the memory care center called, what would he do?

Even if they had it under control and he didn’t have to come back immediately, he’d be fretting the whole time, worrying about her.

Praying over the opportunity, Tom felt that God said three words: “I got you.”

Tom immediately began planning for the trip.

He had a particular hotel he wanted to stay at, partly because he was a rewards program member.

But the room he wanted cost more points than he had.

Still pondering and considering, one day he felt a nudge to check again.

The room had dropped into his price range.

Happily, he booked it.

He continued checking the price, out of curiosity, as his trip got closer, and the price never dropped that low again.

For the games, Tom had initially simply booked a ticket and planned to sit by himself.

But then an old friend and ex-work colleague, someone Tom was only occasionally in touch with, called.

He was part of a group that went to the Frozen Four every year.

One of them had to cancel — would Tom like to join them in their suite, free of charge?

Of course, Tom was happy to accept.

In addition to the seat upgrade, “Now I don’t have to just feel so alone all the time, and we renewed our friendship.”

As Tom arrived in St. Louis, where the Frozen Four was being held, he received another gift from providence.

He had booked a room at the hotel that he and his wife had stayed at on a trip 20 years before – the Union Station Hotel.

However, he hadn’t booked in the actual wing in which he and his wife had stayed.

When he arrived in St. Louis earlier than they generally allowed check-in, he asked if it was possible to get in early.

The concierge accommodated him, and in the process, he was moved to a different part of the hotel.

“There was only, I think, about 10 or 12 rooms of that type . . . and that’s where Julie and I stayed, 20-some years ago, and that’s where he put me . . . That’s when I became convinced that God was at work here, because He knew that I was alone, I was going to miss her, and arranged for this so I had a memory of her.”

Even the alumni parties for Western Michigan University were scheduled at the Irish pub next door to his hotel.

Meeting Mike

Another amazing gift of providence happened in the hotel lobby.

Tom was there, dressed in his Western Michigan sweatshirt, and surrounded by fans of the opponent, Boston University.

But among those opposing fans was Mike Eruzione, the captain of the U.S. team that won the “Miracle on Ice” game at the 1980 Olympics.

As soon as Tom saw him, he knew he had to introduce himself, not only because of the man’s achievement at the Olympics, but because Tom and his father used to go to games back when

Eruzione played for the Toledo Goaldiggers, a minor league hockey team.

Those games shaped Tom’s childhood memories with his father and brother, memories that had become more precious as his father’s dementia advanced.

“I have my brown and gold sweatshirt on. With my left hand, I cover the team’s mark up, and I extend my hand, and I said, ‘Mike, you don’t know me yet, but I’m going to guess you’re not a true fan of the colors that I’m sporting today, but I really don’t want to talk to you about tonight. I want to talk to you about your time with the Goaldiggers.’ And all of a sudden his face just beamed.”

Tom talked with Eruzione about normal things, like where he’d gone for pizza and beers after games.

For Tom, the brief encounter brought his dad back to life.

Eruzione, in turn, was also grateful — as someone who is almost always approached over his Olympic accomplishment, he appreciated the chance to talk about his life outside that moment, sharing memories of a city they’d both lived in.

One reason Tom is convinced this trip was a gift from God is that it was so personal to him.

“My job at American Family, before I retired, I managed our sponsorship and event group. So my history has been planning big events. We had sponsorships with Badgers, Packers, Brewers, and more teams than you can count. And He did things for me that you have to be either extremely well connected, as I was, and you have to be extremely deep into the partnership, or you just have to be God . . . This whole experience meant so much more to me, because the gifts that He provided in those divine interventions were pretty much unique to me . . . God, who knows us better than we know ourselves, He knew what type of trip would mean the most to me, based on how I worked and what I did in my line of work.”

For Tom, the cancellations of all his earlier plans turned out to make sense.

“I believe that God had a reason, because He could put together a much more memorable getaway trip for me that only He could do.”

Home to evangelize

Tom traveled back home and was able to settle in.

The next day, his first full day back, the memory care center called — Julie had fallen.

But the call hadn’t come until he was back.

“Immediately after I hung up the phone, I thanked God, and I remembered those words ‘I got you,’ because now I can deal with it, now that fall didn’t impact the trip, I didn’t have to come back, I didn’t have to fret about it . . . He allowed me to escape, and now I’m back to doing the caregiving that He’s asked me to do.”

Tom continues to aim to give to others, even beyond Julie. He recently got invited to speak at the Catholic

University of America to share his story of caregiving.

He loves being on stage, and hopes God will use that.

At the same time, he’s tried to intentionally pursue “at-home evangelizing,” using the skills God gave him.

He’s an active member of his parish’s That Man is You group.

He freely shares the faith aspect of his journey at the memory care center’s caregivers’ support group.

Tom welcomes invitations to speak at local parishes about his years of caregiving and how his dependence on God has grown throughout the journey.

He can be reached at bronco0825@gmail.com (bronco zero eight two five @gmail.com).

And in addition to sharing his story in talks and articles, he hopes to write a book about seeing joy in the journey of caregiving for a person with Alzheimer’s.

A key part of this is the little moments where Tom still sees his wife’s personality shine through.

“She had a wickedly dry sense of humor, and that’s why we got along so well, because we’re cut of the same cloth.”

The book’s working title is It’s Okay to Smile, Even Laugh: Finding Joy in the Alzheimer’s Journey.

“The focus of this book is not, of course, to be demeaning at all to those who are faced with this, but bringing out iteration after iteration after iteration of people’s humanity, even for five to 10 seconds, being allowed to shine through, and you see them as a full person again, and those moments allow me to have peace at night.”

His wife’s moments of humor are one more way he sees God’s hand in his journey.

For Tom, the whole adventure has a simple message: “Even when life throws you serious curve balls, God still has you, and God can do some pretty amazing things.”