When my now-husband and I were dating in high school, he used to come over to join my family for a meal and then help wash the dishes afterward.

One time, my mom walked by and unexpectedly pulled the dishrag out of his hand so she could wipe the counter and the table.

We laughed and looked at my mom questioningly, because it was against her gentle nature for her to take something from someone else while he was using it.

“It makes you face reality,” she explained, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

At the time, that reality was simply that my husband no longer had the tool he needed to complete his task — a minor forced experience of unexpected loss.

Years later, we still laugh about this “life lesson,” and yet we recognize, at its kernel, the deeper reality of facing the fact that we may not always have what we need . . . physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

Admitting brokenness 

We are — always have been and always will be — broken human beings who must face the reality of our absolute nothingness and the fact that Our Lord is the only source of everything we need.

Our brokenness comes in so many forms: physical and mental infirmities; emotional shortcomings; vices of every kind; inclinations toward sinfulness; human weaknesses; and imperfections in our relationships with ourselves, each other, and Our Lord.

On the whole, each of us is a perfect human mess, thanks to Original Sin. But, when we begin to face that reality and bring our brokenness to Our Lord, truly believing that He is the only One who can give us the grace to fix it or suffer through it, then humility starts to grow.

And sincere humility in recognizing our brokenness is key to growing closer to Him.

An example 

Part of my own broken human nature is the tendency to want to “fix” things by myself, thinking that I’ve surrendered it to Our Lord, but truthfully still not completely letting it go.

This unsurprisingly stems from pride, and I realize it is so deeply embedded within my human nature that I cannot remove it without His help.

The closeness of my human inclinations from which I cannot escape will forever be the source of my humility before God.

This is “facing reality,” which begets the deepest humility I’ve ever known.

“However, humility is not enough; it needs to be accompanied by confident recourse to God,” said Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen in Divine Intimacy (p. 814).

“We think about examining ourselves, yet we do not think, before the examination, during the examination, and after the examination, to plunge ourselves, with all our miseries, into the consuming and transforming furnace of His Heart, which is open to us through a single humble act of confidence” said Fr. Jean C.J. d’Elbée in I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St. Thérèse of Lisieux (p. 29). “We must have confidence, not in spite of our miseries, but because of them, since it is misery which attracts mercy.”

Pathway toward Heaven 

Our Lord wants each of us to face the reality of our inescapable humanness, but He doesn’t abandon us to wallow in our misery.

Instead, He offers each of us the endless ocean of mercy in His Sacred Heart, every time we make a good Confession.

“If you make each sin an occasion for you to kiss the wound of His Heart with repentance and confidence, each sin will become a rung in the ladder by which you ascend in love. From misery to misery we go from mercy to mercy” (I Believe in Love, p. 65).

And the life lesson?

Humility before God and confidence in His endless mercy make “facing reality” the pathway toward heaven.