This week, we’re celebrating marriages in the Catholic Herald. We have some pages dedicated to that beautiful, holy, and important sacrament.
You can read about a recent celebration for couples who have been married for more than 50 years and also those new to the marriage thing.
You can also read some wisdom and advice from couples who have been at the wedded thing for a while.
A quick note of congratulations to all of the married couples in the Diocese of Madison. Thank you for your witnesses of faith.
Story time
I want to use my space this week to tell you all a little story about some very good “friends” of mine who were married less than a year ago.
We’ll call them “Devin” and “Tara”. It took these two crazy kids a while to find each other; God’s time is not always our time.
Tara has what one might call a “perfect score” when it came to dating and ultimately getting married.
Following a discernment to Religious Life that ended up taking her away from Religious Life, Tara put her faith in God and decided to explore the world of Matrimony and all of its available and eligible bachelors.
Millennial times being as they are, Tara registered on and made a profile for a Catholic website that thinks pretty highly of its success rate in matching people up and sending them on their way into wedded Catholic bliss.
Tara was blessed. She connected with and dated just one sole individual off of the site, nature (with a lot of help from God) did its thing, and they were married. This fellow was Devin, of course.
Devin did not have as easy of a time as his beloved Tara did.
If you looked up the term “futility” in the dictionary, you might see a picture of ole Devin.
When Devin used to be asked the dreaded question “Why aren’t you married yet?” or something annoyingly similar, he usually responded with a ready and well-rehearsed “bad luck, bad timing, and bad women.”
I’ll spare Devin the embarrassment of most of his disasters, but merely for illustrative purposes there was the time he was ditched at the zoo on a “first date,” the time he was “dumped” no more than 15 minutes after going to Mass together, or the time he was loudly asked “Why not?!” in a crowded restaurant when his date at the time, a former college hockey player, was aghast when he said he didn’t really have a lot of friends that he played sports with.
Poor Devin. He came many a time close to giving up or “retiring” from dating.
There are a few people glad that he didn’t.
Devin had far from a perfect score in the dating world. Tara was one for one and he was one for . . . a lot. But, all that mattered, in the end, was that “one”.
Looking at the history of these two — Devin and Tara — you probably wouldn’t think they’d end up together, but they did. God sees what we don’t.
Your past is not your future
As we see in such Bible stories like the parable of late workers, it doesn’t matter when you start doing the work or getting it right, you can still get the full reward.
Tara’s dating life and story couldn’t be any more different than Devin’s, but they ended up being the same story.
Tara could sing numerous praises about online dating and feeling blessed whereas Devin could probably use the words “dumpster” and “fire” together, but it all worked out.
Tara’s 100 percent and Devin’s 0.00000000000000001 percent both equal the same thing.
They are united together in Holy Matrimony.
While many failures hurt Devin at the time, he should be grateful for all that happened before Tara and I’m sure she’s very very grateful and not complaining in the slightest, although she probably wishes Devin hadn’t been kicked around so much.
But, all of that was just according to a greater plan, or maybe just Devin’s hesitance to have faith in it for so long.
All that matters is now, as it said on the happy couple’s worship aid, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
What God can make
And what amazing things He can join together.
If a goof like Devin can find a lovely wife, anyone can.
I know how frustrating it can be to read stories in this paper about happy married couples and to wonder “will I ever have that? . . . what’s wrong with me? . . . what am I doing wrong?” Oftentimes, nothing. Let God work His work on you.
I’m sure there are many couples out there who can share similar stories that contain a line sounding like “I almost gave up”.
Good thing you didn’t.
I know not everyone is called to marriage, but for those that are, God is with them.
The tales might not be storybook or Hollywood, but they’re Heavenly, which is even better than something you’d see in a rom-com.
Not all opposites will attract, but all paths that lead to God will lead to where they are supposed to go en route.
Let’s pray for all of the married couples out there, present, and future. They all need our help and prayers in their own ways.
And, thank you, Tara, for taking a chance on a guy like Devin. I’m sure if he were writing this right now, he’d say maybe the road could have been a little less bumpy, but at least there was someone waiting for him at the end.
An ounce of real joy through God’s grace can conquer all of the past pain.
And, a little bit of prayer and a lot of never giving up can go a long way.
Thank you for reading.
I’m praying for you.