grieving – Madison Catholic Herald

Q A family member passed recently and although it was after a long illness, I am surprised and a little disappointed with the reactions of some relatives.

This was a much loved individual and her loss leaves a great hole in our hearts.

Some relatives want to plan a vacation to “honor” her while others are encouraging her husband to get back out there and begin another relationship; because “that is what she would want.”

Maybe this is really old- fashioned, but I think after something like this happens, the person deserves a time of reflection and respect. Am I wrong?

(From a sister-in-law in Darlington).

A Everyone grieves in their own way. There is no recipe for a healthy method of adjusting to a loss.

Even if you grieve in a way that you feel honors the person, you may revisit those feelings frequently.

On November 18, 2015

Chris Lee

Losing that ‘spark’ in older years

Q I am concerned about my mother. She is in her early 80s and has enjoyed relatively good health.

She has a little arthritis but does not let that stop her from doing most everything she wants to do.

Since my father died several years ago, she has been living in an apartment complex for older adults. She has friends and seems to enjoy many of the social activities offered by the apartment management.

My concern is that lately when I visit she seems sad. For lack of a better term, she seems to have lost her “spark.”

I tried to talk to her about the upcoming holidays and she said we could discuss it later. This is a woman who used to begin Christmas shopping in July! I ask her what is going on but she dismisses the question.

I don’t know how to help her. Do you have any ideas? (From a daughter in Dodgeville)

On November 18, 2015

Jean Mueller

Losing that ‘spark’ in older years

Q I am concerned about my mother. She is in her early 80s and has enjoyed relatively good health.

She has a little arthritis but does not let that stop her from doing most everything she wants to do.

Since my father died several years ago, she has been living in an apartment complex for older adults. She has friends and seems to enjoy many of the social activities offered by the apartment management.

My concern is that lately when I visit she seems sad. For lack of a better term, she seems to have lost her “spark.”

I tried to talk to her about the upcoming holidays and she said we could discuss it later. This is a woman who used to begin Christmas shopping in July! I ask her what is going on but she dismisses the question.

I don’t know how to help her. Do you have any ideas? (From a daughter in Dodgeville)

On April 28, 2011

Steve Karlen

Treat miscarried babies with the dignity they deserve

As soon as I heard my wife burst out the bathroom door that sunny spring day, I knew she was pregnant. I hadn’t yet opened my eyes but I didn’t need to. Her footsteps told me everything.

My wife didn’t have any particular reason to believe she was pregnant. But after a couple years of praying for a second child, I’d grown accustomed to Laura taking random pregnancy tests — hoping against hope that somehow that second pink line would appear. This time it did.

Joyful days

The days ahead were as joyful as any we’d experienced in our life together. We beamed when friends who knew of our struggle with secondary infertility congratulated us and we devoured all the fetal development materials we could find, eager to mark every last milestone in our baby’s nascent life.