Thunder crashed. Torrential rain poured. The whooshing wind whipped the sides of our tent, threatening to tear it apart.
Witnessing the raw strength of nature while camping in a powerful storm, our little family was hanging on by the sheer mercy of God.
It was a control freak’s nightmare.
What a relief it was when the storm subsided and I felt in control again.
The next day we were pulling out of our ice chest the makings for supper to share with our friends, and I was expecting to heat up the gallon of chili I’d prepared ahead of time at home and frozen in a leftover ice cream container.
To my horrified surprise and embarrassment, the leftover ice cream container I’d packed was full of NOT chili, but . . . melted ice cream.
“What happened to the chili?” I exclaimed, suddenly realizing I’d pulled the wrong ice cream container from the freezer.
Despite my careful planning, I was still in control of . . . very little.
An extra stowed package of hot dogs served as a rescue for supper that night, but my pride sizzled alongside them on the open fire.
For those of us who think we are in control, lessons in humility — though painful — are always good.
Cooperation, not control
More and more I’m beginning to appreciate how very little I can control.
When my children were babies, I controlled everything from what they ate to what they wore and who they played with.
When they were young, I controlled how they were educated, what they read, and how they learned about God.
Now that they are maturing and I see the people they are becoming, I’m learning more and more to trust in the ways God reveals to them what He wants for their lives.
He is in control — He always was and always will be. Whatever control I thought I had was just a farce.
By the mercy of God, I was allowed to be a mother in the first place, to take care of these little ones He entrusted to me.
By the mercy of God, I was allowed to see them grow and learn and love and thrive despite my human foibles.
By the mercy of God, I was allowed to see I was never meant to control but to cooperate.
The simple truth
During Mass long ago, I used to place on the altar all the worries of a young mother . . . sickness, loneliness, and anxiety over the future and every small thing.
I didn’t realize it then, but what I really was praying for was control.
Now I place on the altar all my imperfections, all my yearning for control, all my heart so that God can fill it with His graces and allow me to cooperate with Him as He wills.
It is an emptying out of one’s frailties on the altar, this sacrifice of control so that we can decrease and He can increase.
When we begin to truly accept this — that supernatural help is there for the taking if we empty ourselves of any notions of prideful control — we begin to actually depend on Our Lord to feed us in the Eucharist.
Once emptied of ourselves and ready to serve Him, this is the truth He reveals: How precious He deems us, that He comes to us humbly under the appearance of bread and wine! Without Him as our sustenance, we will die.
This simple truth is a game changer when facing the storms that rage against us in the physical, mental, and spiritual realms.
Mercy of God
In the end, we control very little indeed. The only thing we can really control is whether or not we empty ourselves so that we can cooperate with God’s will.
It’s an unavoidable reality we must accept sooner or later.
And by the mercy of God, we will.
Julianne Nornberg, mother of four children, is a teacher’s aide at St. John the Baptist School in Waunakee.