Dear Readers,
Even though I’m not really a big sports enthusiast (except for the grandsons’ soccer games and wrestling tournaments), like most people around the world, I really do enjoy watching the Olympics.
The Games of the XXXIII Olympiad will be held in Paris this summer from late July until mid-August, but the tenth annual Linden Lodge Driveway Olympics will be held one afternoon only, at our cabin up north on Lake Mildred. Tickets are going fast but are still available (for both the Paris games and the Mildred games) but if you don’t care to travel, you might consider creating your own games with friends, family, or neighbors in your own backyard. May I offer you a few tips for setting up your “Olympics?”
Prepping for the games
First, you’ll need to appoint one person to serve as chairperson, facilitator, judge, scorekeeper, announcer, and hostage negotiator. (Unlike the official international games, family games come with an abundance of “history,” and are therefore often bereft of good sportsmanship).
The oldest person in the group is usually the best choice for the chairperson position; the athletes are more likely to respect the decisions of a patriarch or a matriarch more than they would the decisions of a sibling or cousin or in-law.
Besides, there’s less chance of needing to call 9-1-1 if Grandma and Grandpa are not actually doing anything physical.
Next, draw names to come up with two team captains who then take turns selecting their team members.
There are usually no hard feelings during this portion of the process; everyone in my family has either excellent athletic ability or an outrageous sense of humor.
Both talents are essential for maximizing team performance and enjoyment.
Once the teams are set, serious thought must go into the creation of team names which will help build team spirit and unity.
Some examples from the past include: The Lake Legends, Liam’s Loon-ies, The Paddle Pushers, Ryder’s Raiders, Henry’s Henchmen, and Dave’s Ducks.
Fun for the whole family
For the line-up of events, there are literally hundreds of games from which to choose; use your imagination!
Try the tried-and-true relay races (while carrying a spoon full of water without spilling any), popular-on-a-hot-day water balloon tosses, hula hoop endurances, watermelon seed spitting contests, find-the-forks-hidden-in-the-sand-using-only-your-toes competition, and my favorite, Shaving Cream Twister.
To get started, spread your circa 1970s plastic Twister mat out on the grass or sand. Historically, blacktop, concrete, and gravel driveways are not the best surface for this game as serious injuries such as scratched knees, dislocated sacroiliacs, and wounded pride can — and do — occur. Then, fill four buckets with shaving cream and mix in food coloring so you have one bucket each of red, yellow, blue, and green. Finally, pile a generous mound of the colored shaving cream on each corresponding-colored circle on the Twister mat.
With swimsuit-wearing opponents facing each other on opposite sides of the mat, the chairperson spins the Twister game board dial and calls out the resulting directions, for example, “Right foot yellow,” or “Left hand green.”
Each resulting pose must be held continuously through each consecutive command. The winner will be the one who is able to remain standing the longest. Such good clean fun! To complete the cleaning process, both competitors jump in the lake as soon as the judge’s decision has been rendered.
The medal ceremony is held using gold and silver plastic medals from the dollar store, while a recording of the national anthem blares in the background and the youngest grandchild takes a victory lap around the “arena” in their flag-covered Little Tikes Cozy Coupe.
That night, at the traditional closing campfire, the victors are allowed to make their s’mores first while the also-rans commiserate in their defeat and quietly scheme to ensure they come out on top in the next Linden Lodge Driveway Olympics.
Games or no games, dear Readers, have a wonderful rest of your summer!