“Ow! You twisted my arm!” my son complained to his sister.
“No, I didn’t!” my daughter insisted.
“Yes, you did!” was the retort.
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
Mom could only take so much of this ping-pong arguing before yelling: “QUIET!”
Once in a while, I must admit, these unfortunate arguments do happen in my household, as I’m sure they occur in many households.
We have a running joke in our family that our two youngest members — who are only 22 months apart — are really Fred and Ethel Mertz from the old black-and-white TV show I Love Lucy.
As a result, we have had many “opportunities” to discuss and practice civility and charity in our household.
As “Fred and Ethel” are growing up, however, those “opportunities” are thankfully becoming less frequent.
With maturity buds a natural appreciation for peacemaking.
Hurt in relationships
We all experience difficulties in relationships at some point in our lives. It’s just part of being in a family, being in a community, being in the world.
It’s just part of being human.
Of course, the difficulties we experience as children are less complicated than the difficulties we experience as adults.
Perhaps there is someone we need to forgive or someone who needs to forgive us. Perhaps in our hearts there lurks unresolved anger, resentment, pride, or envy. Perhaps we sometimes allow these things to erode our ability to trust one another or to communicate in a charitable way.
Sometimes the hurt in relationships runs so deep that it seems nothing can fix it. But the Holy Spirit is always greater than any hurt our human hearts can hold.
Rebuilding trust
In times of great division that touches our lives for many reasons and in various ways, the only way we can begin to rebuild trust and build bridges is by gently reaching out one-by-one in conversations with people with whom we need to reconnect or make amends.
Our broken world is aching for us to have conversations with people who need it, people who are hurting, people whom we have hurt or who have hurt us, people who may need help with their own strained relationships.
Love one another
St. Paul said: “I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1-3).
Jesus said: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12).
Just like I have to teach my own little “Fred and Ethel” how to get along in our household, so too do the basic principles apply to the world at large.
Bear with one another. Forgive one another. Be gentle with one another. Love one another.
These are the bridges toward charity and civility in a world that sorely needs them.
Julianne Nornberg, mother of four children, is a member of St. John the Baptist Parish in Waunakee.