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Q From the past columns I have read, my situation is different. I am the 79-year-old mother of a disabled daughter.
My health is pretty good, but I realize I will not be around forever. I have taken care of “Nancy” all my life, and she and I are very close.
I have not made any plans for her and wonder where to begin. She is my only child, and the thought of any other distant relatives caring for her is out of the question.
(From a mother in Monroe)
A Thank you for the question and please know that you are not alone. There are many parents caring for adult children (my own family included).
Fortunately, there are many resources that might be helpful.
First, I would urge you to consider slowly introducing others to Nancy’s support system. It sounds like she has only known you as her caregiver, so if something suddenly happened, it would be quite traumatic for her.
On the other hand, if she had others she was familiar with, a change would be less stressful. There are several options for gently relinquishing some of the responsibilities of her care. She could begin to attend one of several day centers for adults. These are places where she could mingle with others, receive assistance with any personal cares if she needs that, and learn to trust others for help.
If you have not connected with anyone, a good place to start is the Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC).
These agencies are staffed with social workers and other professionals who can help identify resources that would best fit with your situation.
They have information on long-term care options and they can help in the process of identifying and applying for any benefits she may be eligible to receive. You are so very wise to begin the process of securing your daughter’s future care. She is fortunate to have you looking out for her.
Aging and Disability Resource Centers are available in all counties. Information on your local ADRC can be found on the Wisconsin Department of Health Services web site at www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/adrc/
To contact the ADRC in Green County (this questioner’s home county), call 608-328-9499.
Jean Mueller has been a registered nurse for over 30 years. Her experience includes working in home care settings, skilled nursing care, and training individuals to become certified nursing assistants. For the past 13 years, she has worked in the Aging Services department of the Madison Diocese Catholic Charities.