For those who frequent the Sacrament of Confession fairly “often,” there is probably one sin that could be an automatic one every time — being jealous of others.
Whether it is the status they have, their relationships or connections, or their possessions, we find ourselves wanting what they want or feeling we deserve what they have and why don’t we have what they have.
As praise and attention are showered on these people because of the things we are jealous about, the feelings can get worse.
Resentment can set in. Self-hatred can set in during extreme moments. If not handled correctly, nothing good comes from jealousy.
There are those who react, with actions ranging from harming others to embarrassing themselves.
The bubble can be popped in the whole process if we stop to realize that we have a lot of things that others may be (and probably are) jealous of us about.
Is jealousy worth it?
‘Winners’ and ‘losers’
Life is full of those who “got” and those who didn’t.
Sports is obviously a prominent example of this.
Someone has to win and someone has to lose. Everyone wants to win, but not everyone can.
Regarding those who lost, were they wronged? Need they seek “revenge”? Do they have to emote how much they are hurt and something bad happened to them? What if the roles were reversed?
The job market is also like this. One person gets a job, and hundreds who applied did not get it. Of course, this is going to be upsetting for many and they want what the blessed new hire got, but did something wrong necessarily happen? Is it an injustice if only one can “win” and many have to “lose”?
(Yes, I know there are many many legit and legal examples of cheating and other general wrongdoing when it comes to situations of winning and losing, but I would like to think that, for the most part, the process is mostly open, honest, and fair. Here’s a rare “Pollyanna” moment from me.)
Can any good come from it?
The next time we are feeling jealous, we need to ask ourselves why.
Chances are, we will discover some ugly truths about ourselves.
Chances also are that these revelations will make us feel even worse and, if not handled properly, that’s not going to help us or anyone.
As painful and humbling as it may be, once we come to the root of our jealousies, we can find ways to deal with them.
Being thankful for what we already have is a solution. Ignoring the jealous issue is another (with potentially mixed results).
Confronting the jealousy is yet another response.
How do we do that? I’m not a professional, but I can offer you a few things that could be considered a first step.
They are: Pray about it (always a good idea); examine the root pain that leads to a jealousy and find ways to cope with that; talk to someone — professional or otherwise — that you trust and stop being stuck in your own brain and work through it; or be honest with yourself, admit you’re jealous, admit you’re weak, but you want to get better.
Ridding the world of jealousy
I wish I could just say “Don’t be jealous” and everything would be better overnight.
I know it’s not that easy.
And golly, I didn’t even touch on relationship jealousy which may be some of the most ugliest and destructive of all.
We really don’t need to go there here. Many of us know what that’s all about.
But as for ridding the world (or greatly lessening) the world of jealousy, we can let it begin with us.
We all have our weaknesses and reasons for them.
We all have things and people that make us jealous.
God does not want us to be jealous so there must be a way out of this.
We all have gifts, blessings, and graces that He meant for us. What He has given us serves a greater purpose. What He has blessed others with serves their greater purpose as well.
We can’t be jealous of what other people were given in order so they can fully live out God’s will for them.
We all have a place and we all have a purpose.
Let’s pray about what’s best for us to have and not focus on what we jealously want.
Thank you for reading.
I’m praying for you.