Q: I understand the importance of Power of Attorney for both health care and finances, but my mother, aged 82, says, “I have a will and that is good enough!”
I have not been able to successfully convince her that she needs to make more formal arrangements. What can I say to her? (A daughter in Portage).
A: You are so right. A will only designates what will happen AFTER she has died. For example: who gets the good china or who can have the furniture, and other personal items.
Powers of Attorney for health care and finances specify your mother’s wishes and individuals she trusts to carry out her wishes BEFORE death.
They clarify what medical treatment she would like if she were not able to communicate her wishes to the medical staff.
Financial Power of Attorney authorizes someone she trusts to manage financial affairs.
These documents are essential in this day and age. In fact everyone over the age of 18 should have a power of attorney for health care drafted.
The fact that the documents exist does not mean that she is giving away any decision making ability. They are only in effect when she cannot make those decisions herself or is in a medical condition that renders her unable to communicate her wishes.
Your mother may be more open to hearing this information if it comes from someone other than you. The suggestion can come from her physician, nurse, or a case manager from the local coalition.
They are all trusted sources and may help to convince her to take this action.
The consequences of not having these documents can be very difficult and expensive. For example if your mother becomes ill and cannot make decisions and has not designated an “agent” (someone to speak for her), the county probate court may appoint a guardian.
The time, expense, and added stress could all be avoided if the documents are in place.
If you chose to start the conversation with her, forms can be found at the following Web site: www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/forms/AdvDirectives/index.htm
Jean Mueller has been a registered nurse for over 30 years. Her experience includes working in home care settings, skilled nursing care, and training individuals to become certified nursing assistants. For the past 13 years she has worked in the Aging Services department of the Madison Diocese Catholic Charities.