Deny yourself, take up His cross,
follow Him

	Word to Life  By Sharon K. Perkins

Having begun a doctoral program relatively late in life, I've discovered a "love-hate relationship" with higher education.

That's a term often used to describe strong but ambivalent feelings about a person or situation, and it's quite appropriate to express the simultaneous pleasure and pain of reading hundreds of pages of assigned texts, researching papers, and taking exams. Why would anyone with a family and a full-time job voluntarily put themselves through the rigors (and sleep deprivation!) of a degree program? It defies logic and flies in the face of common sense.

But when I consider the alternative, I always conclude that I can't not do it. While the situation is paradoxical, it's precisely in the paradox that I find my personal mission and the drive to push forward when the day-to-day exertions of graduate school don't always make sense.

August 31, 2008 22nd Sunday in Ordinary Time Jeremiah 20:7-9 Psalm 63:2-6, 8-9 Romans 12:1-2 Matthew 16:21-27

Jeremiah's situation in today's first reading is a classic paradox: He's in a "love-hate relationship" with his call to give prophetic utterance to God's message. Although he is subjected to constant ridicule and contemplates not speaking God's name any longer, he finds that he cannot hold inside the "fire burning in my heart" and "imprisoned in my bones." While conventional human wisdom would advise him to stifle the prophetic impulse, God's calling is too powerful to renounce.

The exchange between Jesus and Peter in today's Gospel reveals the ultimate paradox, however. What can be more nonsensical than the Son of Man surrendering himself to torture and certain death?

But Jesus is very clear that the same paradox that compels him to embrace the cross is at the heart of discipleship: "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

	For reflection: In what ways are you struggling between self-preservation and following Christ?

Conventional wisdom would advise one to do whatever is necessary for self-preservation. Jesus' call doesn't make sense - even to his closest followers - and it's absolutely ridiculous to nonbelievers. But therein lies its saving power.

This column is offered in cooperation with the North Texas Catholic of Fort Worth, Texas.

Prayer to St. Raphael Glorious Archangel St. Raphael, great prince of the heavenly court, you are illustrious for your gifts of wisdom and grace. You are a guide of those who journey by land or sea or air, consoler of the afflicted, and refuge of sinners. We beg you, assist us in all our needs and in all the sufferings of this life, as once you helped the young Tobias on his travels. Because you are the "medicine of God" we humbly pray you to heal the many infirmities of our souls and the ills that afflict our bodies. We especially ask your guidance of our diocese as we journey toward the rebuilding of a cathedral bearing your name, and the great grace of purity to prepare us to be temples of the Holy Spirit. As our intercessor, beg the Blessed Trinity to prosper the work of our hands and, above all, to bring us, face-to-face, into their Holy presence. Amen.