The gifts of family

		Living the Scriptures  with St. Paul University  Catholic Center  Trisha Day

Today's second reading, which speaks so eloquently of each person's role in building the body of Christ, has a great deal of relevance for families. Just as the body is made up of interrelated parts, each of which is important, the same can be said of families.

But we live in a culture that does little to help us recognize that each person - from the youngest child to the oldest elder - has something unique and important to contribute to the well-being of our families. The relentless pace with which we hurl ourselves and our children through life leaves little time for taking delight in the things we cherish about one another.

Third Sunday in Ordinary Time (Jan. 25, 2004) Neh 8:2-4a, 5-6, 8-10 Ps 19:8, 9, 10, 15 1 Cor 12:4-11 Lk 1:1-4; 4:14-21

As adults, we play multiple family roles. Some of us are sons and daughters ourselves at the same time that we are parents to our own children. We may be spouses while we are also siblings. We may be grandparents.

With each relationship comes responsibilities that can be burdensome and time-consuming. Sometimes we are so busy focusing on what we are doing for the others in our families that we lose sight of what they are doing for us.

This is when it's helpful to remember St. Paul's words: "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I do not need you,' nor again the head to the feet, 'I do not need you.'"

Similarly, we must not forget that we need the gifts each person brings to our families. It is the combination of these gifts - the talents, abilities, and characteristics of each individual member -that gives a family its identity and strengthens the bonds that keep it intact.

Too often we fail to recognize these gifts. Instead we dwell on things that upset us about individual family members. We complain about behaviors we wish they would change or we grow resentful when they fail to live up to our expectations. We are quick to notice and criticize what we don't like, rather than recognizing and affirming the things we value and love.

	Reflection questions • What is it about your children, your spouse, your parents, siblings, or grandchildren that enriches your life? • How can you pay closer attention to what you love and cherish about the people who give the word "family" its meaning?

Failing to appreciate another's gifts implies they aren't important. It's like the eye saying to the foot, "I do not need you," and that's not the kind of message we ought to be sending to the people we love.

Instead, we would do well to reflect on today's second reading in light of the diversity of gifts the people in our families bring with them. Take some time today to think about the variety of relationships you have with the people in your family - from the youngest to the oldest. Otherwise, chances are you'll be too busy to even notice.

Trisha Day has recently retired from the University of Wisconsin-Cooperative Extension Service. A member of the Associates of the Iowa Cistercians, she is involved with New Melleray and Our Lady of the Mississippi Abbeys near Dubuque, Iowa and has led retreats and written articles about how to apply monastic values and practices to life outside the monastery.

St. Paul's Web site is www.stpaulscc.org

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