Looking past the 'buts':
Accepting identity imperfections

		Living the Scriptures  with St. Paul University  Catholic Center  Jeni Olson

I recently attended the St. Paul's Women's Retreat and participated in an activity where each woman had to write down a list of 10 things about themselves that they liked.

When I talked with my friend Sarah about adding to my list, I discovered that for each thing that she or I came up with, I would agree at first, and then quickly follow with a "but . . ." to conclude.

For example, when she said, "Oh, you're very social," I would respond with a "Yeah, but . . . only sometimes when I'm comfortable around others." Or, "You're very welcoming" and I'd respond, "Well, when I'm in a good mood of course, but . . . not a lot of the time."

The Most Holy Trinity (Sunday, June 11, 2006) Dt 4:32-34, 39-40 Ps 33:4-5, 6, 9, 18-19, 20, 22 Rom 8:14-17 Mt 28:16-20

I realized this was the pattern for every suggestion she had for me - maybe I had that characteristic sometimes, even most of the times, but the exceptions to the rule that ran through my head made me think "no, you aren't that way," even if it was true that most of the time I did show that characteristic or trait.

When I was talking with Sarah, I was reminded of the denial by Peter. Peter would probably have said his deepest identity was being a disciple of Christ. But even Peter, the man Christ chose to give the keys to the church, was inconsistent in that identity of himself.

Even though Peter almost constantly was striving to be a disciple in the purest way, he still made mistakes and fell away from his truest identity at times.

We see the same type "falling away" from the disciples in the Gospel today. The disciples, on their way to Galilee, saw Christ and worshiped, but . . . they doubted. I have always been shocked by this, because these disciples and friends of Christ that lived in His time, with Him in the flesh, had more than enough reason to believe it was Him they were seeing - yet they still had room for doubt.

And what is Christ's response to their half-hearted worship? With a message of hope for us all, He says, "I am with you always, until the end of the age."

He looks past their imperfections, past their human doubting, and past their slip-ups of falling away from their deepest identity as children of God, and reassures them of His love and understanding of them - always.

	Reflection questions • Where does the "but . . ." mentality affect me in my everyday life? • How can I trust more in Christ's acceptance of my imperfections?

The disciples, Peter, and you and I, have a common bond - we are human. We are all fallen. And, great news . . . God knows our imperfections, and knows we have plenty of "buts" to go around, yet doesn't focus on those inadequacies and inconsistencies as we so often do.

He sees past our sins, our mistakes, our failings, and has given us the greatest reason to be hopeful - the only "but . . ." that we need to remind ourselves of every day: BUT, we have a savior, Jesus Christ. Amen to that!

Jeni Olson recently finished her junior year at UW-Madison, where she served as a peer minister for the 2005-2006 academic year. She is transferring to Marquette University in the fall to start nursing school.

St. Paul's Web site is www.stpaulscc.org

Faith Alive!

In a Nutshell Divorced Catholics and divorced, civilly remarried Catholics experience all the usual trauma of being divorced. In addition, they wonder about their status and acceptance in the parish or an annulment's value. Many people hesitate to begin the annulment process. Some may fear it will open a painful wound again. Dioceses often hold evening or weekend workshops to explain annulments and what they involve. Catholic News Service 3211 Fourth St NE Washington DC 20017 202.541.3250 cns@catholicnews.com	Food for Thought   The situation for Catholics who remarry after a divorce without receiving an annulment from the church was discussed by Pope Benedict XVI when he met July 25, 2005, with priests, religious and deacons in Italy's Valle d'Aosta region where he was vacationing. He accented two points: -- The church takes very seriously the indissolubility of marriage. -- The suffering of those who don't receive Communion because they remarried without an annulment also must be taken very seriously. While pointing to the indissolubility of the sacrament of marriage, the pope observed that these people, "who are also suffering for us," must be loved. "Moreover, we must suffer with them," he said. full story   When a couple divorces By Father John W. Crossin, OSFS Catholic News Service Grief is deeply emotional. I have seen these emotions on the faces of friends and acquaintances who are divorced. Grief can express itself in anger, or depression, or withdrawal. In grief, we may do things we later regard as a little bit "crazy." Grieving over a friendship lost can last for years. full story  Ministries for divorced Catholics By Sheila Garcia Catholic News Service In 1974, several divorced Catholics in Omaha decided to form a support group that met in members' homes. The group became so successful that the Omaha Archdiocese offered to sponsor it. Today the archdiocese promotes monthly meetings where divorced people help each other to meet their spiritual, educational and social needs. Activities range from dances and dinners to an annual day of spiritual renewal and a prayer line. full story  Rediscovering one's place in the church By Father Herbert Weber Catholic News Service A man I will call Bob wanted to talk about his involvement in the church. Although he always attends Mass, he never receives Communion. Many years ago he was married briefly. Since then, though he did not seek an annulment, he has remarried and raised a family. Bob said he is used to not receiving Communion, but that it was especially hard when his children were celebrating various sacraments. At one point he considered seeking a church annulment but shied away, thinking it would be hard. Now, in a new parish, he is eager to become more active and again is wondering if the church has a place for him. full story
	Faith in the Marketplace   This Week's Discussion Point: What activities does your diocese/parish sponsor for divorced Catholics?     Selected Response From Readers:
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