The African-American spiritual "Were you there?" is a beautiful expression of our own participation in the suffering and death of Jesus on the Cross, which we read in the Passion on Palm Sunday and on Good Friday. "Were you there when they crucified my Lord? Were you there when they nailed him to the tree? Were you there when they laid him in the tomb?" Our participation on Palm Sunday lets us be there, when they welcomed Jesus into Jerusalem as a King. And we are there on Good Friday, when they nailed him to the tree.
As we experience again the story of the Lord's Passion, we are invited to sit with him at the Last Supper, to walk with him out to the Mount of Olives, to witness his unfair trial and his silence, to hear the nails pounded into his flesh, to listen to his last words, to shed our tears as he dies, to watch the lance pierce his side, and to follow shyly as he is laid into the tomb. The traumatic event of Jesus' suffering and death seared into the hearts and minds of the disciples a deep recollection of what happened to their Lord. Assisted by the grace of the Holy Spirit, the gospel writers are able to convey those events to us - not as newspaper accounts, but as the witness of faith.
Then we, two thousand years after, are able to lean our elbows on the table as Jesus instituted the Eucharist. We are able to feel the ground beneath our feet and to smell the leaves as we head out to the Mount of Olives, singing psalms of praise. We are able to feel the confusion and fear as Jesus is arrested, and tried, and mocked, and beaten. We are able to walk the way of the Cross and see the Lord stumble beneath the weight of the Cross - we can hear the wood thud to the ground, we can sense the heat of the crowd, we can feel their unrest. And then, when we reach the hill of Calvary outside the city walls, we can look around and feel the oppression of the day. We can touch the robe the soldiers stripped from Jesus, we can hear the dice they throw to win it. We can feel the cold metal of the nails, watch the hammer blows, see him crucified - nailed to the tree. "Were you there when they crucified my Lord?" Don't ask me! I was there - with my sins and weaknesses, with my selfishness and hatred, with my contempt for God's laws and my pride. Yes, I was there! "Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?" Don't ask me that, I whisper. I was there - I held his wrist to the wood of the Cross, I placed the nail on his flesh, I pounded the hammer again and again and again as the nail sunk into the wood. Yes, I was there! To my shame, I was there! "Were you there when they laid him in the tomb?" Don't ask me, please, don't. I was there - I followed to see what they would do to his body. I had spent the whole day watching, unmoved, unrepentant for what my sins have done. How could I forget? Such violence, such trauma! He was innocent, I see that now. Yes, I was there. It should have been me on the Cross. It should have been me nailed to the tree. It should have been me, laid in that tomb, paying the price of death for my sins. Yes, I was there - but Jesus took my place. Fr. John G. Stillmank is Moderator of the Curia for the Diocese of Madison and pastor of St. Andrew Parish, Verona, and St. William Parish, Paoli.
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