Talents and differences:

		Notes from the  Vicar General  Msgr. Paul J. Swain

Observe a group of people and one cannot help but be amazed at how each person is different, unique, and that only reveals surface distinctions.

It is one reason there is such interest when encountering identical twins. While there are surface similarities with twins, there are subtle differences as well. The gift of life puts us in awe of the creator.

As we get to know one another, we reveal our less apparent differences, the special gifts which delight and the frailties which challenge charity. It is in recognizing how to use our gifts for good that we grow in holiness and in identifying our limitations that we can seek forgiveness and the help of others.

As the fifth of six children I often was compared by teachers to my older brothers and sisters in an attempt to encourage me to do better. My instinct was to cry out, "I'm not like them."

Looking back I wish I had followed their example more often. And yet my instinct was also right. God created me distinctively and I am called to discover and use the talents given and to draw on others to help me accept my limitations.

Share the benefits

Each of us is created in the image of God with the same nature and origin and deserving of the same dignity and respect. And yet God also touched and touches us uniquely.

On coming into the world, man is not equipped with everything he needs for developing his bodily and spiritual life. He needs others. Differences appear tied to age, physical abilities, intellectual or moral aptitudes, the benefits derived from social commerce, and the distribution of wealth. The "talents" are not distributed equally. These differences belong to God's plan, who wills that each receive what he needs from others, and that those endowed with particular "talents" share the benefits with those who need them. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraphs 1936, 1937)

One tragedy in the millions of abortions is the destruction in the womb of persons with talents according to God's plan which would have contributed to the well-being of society and happiness of individuals.

Receive needs from others

Currently the Priest Personnel Board is meeting to prepare recommendations to the Bishop for priest assignments this June. It is always a daunting task to try to match the talents of each priest with the needs of each parish.

Some parishioners will want their new pastor to have the exact talents of the one leaving with whom they have become comfortable. Others will look to have his limitations filled in. Neither is perfectly possible. Each priest is unique as a person. All priests through ordination are graced to offer Mass and the sacraments.

When Jesus called the Apostles, he did not seek clones or perfection; he sought out those who were willing to put themselves into his hands and to follow him. It remains so today.

Whether in parish, community, or family, let us enjoy the diversity God has created, with charity accept and assist in our differences, and together do what we can to remove those social and economic inequalities which are unjust and thus not part of God's plan.

Saving your life by writing it:

		Grand Mom  Audrey  Mettel Fixmer

I once knew a woman who made a pact with her best friend.

The two agreed that when one would die the other would immediately rush over to her house and do a thorough cleaning. That way no one would know about the mess they left behind.

The idea probably has some merit, but it smacks of the negative. Why not focus on leaving behind something positive? Like your life. Each of us has been given the most precious gift of life. Why not save it? The best way I know to do that is to write it.

No two lives are alike. As we reach old age and realize that we are arriving at the end of the road, we look back to our early years with wonder. It seems impossible that when we started out we chased the ice man's truck to pick up chips, wrapped garbage in newspaper, got our entertainment from radio shows, and lived in a secure world of a school tended by flocks of sisters who floated into church in their long flowing skirts and black veils like so many blackbirds. And our extended family extended into a radius of a few miles.

It was a world our children and grandchildren will never know . . . unless we paint the picture for them. With the ease of computer-generated words today, we can wrap up our lives into neat binders and present them to our offspring. Our gift of life!

Your life story

I began teaching a course at MATC called "Writing Your Life Story" eight years ago. Each semester consists of just nine weeks, meeting one night a week for two hours. Each class member writes a "story" from his or her past during the week and then reads it aloud to the class when we meet.

We share the nostalgia, the humor, and some gut wrenching moments during each session, often passing the box of tissues around as the tears flow. We jokingly refer to it as group therapy, and the same people sign up over and over.

This sharing provides a catharsis for the writer. For the listener it's better entertainment that any television show. "Better than Monday night football!" one gentleman said. Most people who start do not stop at one semester, but enroll over and over again. After all, if it took 50 or more years to play out, it can't be written in nine weeks.

My class is not unique. The idea for it came to me about ten years ago when I read about similar classes springing up all over the country. They were made up of ordinary people, not professional writers, who found great satisfaction in examining their pasts and realizing with pride that they were survivors.

Most of these memoir writers were cheered on by their children and grandchildren, who sincerely wanted some part of their parents to hang on to. These life stories fill a growing need for links to the past, for clues to their own identity, in a world where letter writing is a lost art and e-mail messages are deleted with a click of the mouse.

'Saving' your life

Journaling is another tried and true method of "letting it out" and bringing order out of chaos. A journal can be any kind of notebook from a cheap spiral to a leather bound volume with gilded pages. It's the words one writes in them that make them precious.

My big sister gave me a diary with a lock and key when I was no more than eight or ten, and started me on the road to "saving my life." It was a small book in which I was expected to squeeze five-years worth of incredibly great achievements on each page.

Thirty years later, when my mother cleaned her attic and brought my diaries to me, my own children howled with delight at one entry in which I told of running a Kool-Aid stand in the pouring rain, but showing a profit of 13 cents. "You mean they had Kool-Aid in the olden days?" they asked.

My kids were especially touched by an entry made in another journal, one in which I could write at length. "Tonight I met the man I am going to marry," I wrote in 1947. I went on for pages about the handsome and brilliant Bob Fixmer, and romantically dreamed about how some day his philosophy books would stand side-by-side on a shelf beside my Louisa May Alcott and Bronte books.

"So how come you keep complaining about being buried under Dad's books?" they wanted to know.

You don't have to be rich or famous to write your memoirs, and whether one starts journaling at a tender age or comes upon the revelation late in life, writing one's life is the best way I know to save it.

Try it. You'll like it! And your family will bless you for getting a peek inside your soul.

"Grandmom" likes hearing from other senior citizens who enjoy aging at P.O. Box 216, Fort Atkinson, WI 53538.