Christmas is different in wartime:

Or is it?

		Notes from the  Vicar General  Msgr. Paul J. Swain

Christmas will be different this year. As a nation at war, with threats of new terror hanging like ice sickles, there is a somberness to the holidays.

Christmas is different in wartime. Or is it?

As has happened too many times in the past, moms and dads will worry about their children stationed around the world in the defense of freedom. Families once again will endure this holy season with empty places at the table.

This year the starkness of loss includes not only the military, but firefighters, police, rescue workers, and those who happened to be on a plane or at work on a bright September morn.

Others face the reality of the loss of loved ones through sickness, accident, or separation.

Empty places at the table

A little girl wrote, "Dear God, Please build a post office in heaven so that Grandma can send us a Christmas pudding with money inside like she used to." Sometimes it is only in recalling happy memories and in prayer that we can spend Christmas with loved ones.

I remember the loneliness of my first Christmas away from home in another wartime. In South Vietnam, I attended Midnight Mass, although I was not a Catholic at the time. It was held in the movie theater with then New York Archbishop Terrence Cooke as presider.

I recall vividly the heat and humidity at midnight, the awe of music and incense, and the reality of my feet sticking to the floor, the legacy of spilled soda from movies past.

The gathering of diverse people, some in fatigues, others in vestments, together in prayer helped overcome my loneliness.

It reminded me of the days when I would attend Methodist services alone and then come home and sit with my non-Catholic grandfather in silence watching Midnight Mass televised from the Vatican. Quiet, prayerful times which encouraged my journey to the Church and to the priesthood.

Every Christmas is different and yet the same. Every year there is the sadness brought on by injustice and sin which results in people warring one with another. It was true when a young couple from Nazareth was far from home in Bethlehem.

While the angels sang and the shepherds kneeled, it was into the real world that the Christ child was born. Someone said the saddest lines in the Bible are: "To his own he came, yet his own did not accept him." (Jn 1:11)

Do not be afraid

Jesus, the Word made flesh, is the light of the world, the light of hope which gives us the courage to cope. The angel said to the shepherd, and to us, "Do not be afraid . . . I proclaim to you good news of great joy."

Each year we are older and shaped by our experiences in the world, but the gift of the Christ child at Christmas remains the same.

In war time, in all times may we recall with humble hearts that "a savior has been born for you who is Christ the Lord."

May your Christmas be one of joy and peace.

The art of gift giving:

Meaningful vs. commercial

		Common-day  Spirituality  Mary Rose  Remington

Gift giving is an art that requires thought and planning.

Who do you want to exchange gifts with -- and why? What changes would you like to make over last year? How much money and time can you invest?

In this busy, hurry-up world, there is no greater gift than time. Give a "time coupon" to special people in your life. Let them know how much time the coupon is good for -- say an afternoon or evening. The recipients get to choose the activity -- you get the bill.

Another great gift idea is a family portrait. How long has it been since you've had one taken?

For that sophisticated friend, consider tickets to a concert, theatrical performance, or art gallery. Of course you'll want to go with them. If you are a handy person, family members may appreciate help with home or auto repairs.

Some friends have it all and are hard to buy for. Think about donating money to their favorite charity.

A word to the wise: Keep your agenda out of the gift-giving process. A husband who wants his wife to lose weight should not give exercise equipment -- unless she has specifically requested it. Gifts that benefit the giver should be avoided.

This holiday season, may you find yourself giving and receiving joy, happiness, and many blessings.

Mary Rose Remington, a member of St. Thomas Becket Parish in Eagan, Minn., is a writer, career coach, and speaker.

Beyond our wildest dreams:

Being 'wonder-full' citizens of the world

		Grand Mom  Audrey  Mettel Fixmer

Wonder is a characteristic associated with children.

Typically we see them wide-eyed studying the activities of an ant colony or the beauty of a butterfly, for instance. We say they are filled with wonder.

Or we use the word in connection with the shepherds on that hillside in Bethlehem. "They looked up and saw the star and were filled with wonder."

Well, lately I've been made aware that it is we seniors, above all others, who should be the "wonder-full" citizens of the world.

Full of wonder

This thought came to me about a month ago when we attended a house party at the home of one of our colleagues.

Following the appetizers and refreshments in their basement rec room, replete with bar and pool table, we assembled in various rooms on the main floor to enjoy the warm feast on plastic plates.

Bob and I joined a group of people ranging in age from six to seventy-six in the family room. The eyes of the children were drawn to the 60 inch television screen, where an old movie was showing. It was one of those old "road" shows starring Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and Dorothy Lamour.

I might have been the same age as these children when I paid my dime and first saw this film in a movie theater. Seeing it now, I was suddenly struck with wonder when I remarked, "Who would have dreamed when this movie originally came out that one day we would be watching this on a big screen in someone's living room?"

(Or, for that matter, who would have dreamed that we would still be teaching in our 70s and socializing with "colleagues"?)

New adventure

A few days later, over Thanksgiving break, Bob and I took our first cruise. It was just a four-day cruise on the Carnival line, but we were very excited to try this new adventure.

So many friends had told us we "must" experience the luxury and wonder of this floating hotel. It seemed the ideal kind of vacation for older adults, since bags are whisked away and mysteriously reappear in one's cabin, room service provided round the clock, Las Vegas -type shows offered nightly, and elegant meals are served five times a day.

What filled me with wonder, however, was the presence of so many children! People all around us were traveling with pre-schoolers and older children as casually as if they had just taken them down the street for a Happy Meal at MacDonald's.

Until now, when we could cruise by trading Time Share points, we could not imagine such a luxury trip. So how could these parents afford to cruise with a family of five? That's what filled me with wonder!

Cell phone technology

A few days after returning home I had still another wonder-full experience. My cell phone, which I use as a security device in my car, was now five or six years old and becoming temperamental. So I decided to update it.

I had no idea, until I stepped into the telephone store, how outrageously outdated my five-year-old phone was. All it could do was hold a few numbers in memory and dial those by pressing a button. Ha! I'll have you know that I walked out of there with a Nokia baby half the size and ten times the power of my "antique" cell phone.

Besides holding as many as 100 numbers in memory, it gives me the time and date as soon as I turn it on, it allows me to send text messages like "Don't forget the cheese" or "Happy Birthday," and instead of hearing a boring ring when someone calls, I can program it to play "Jingle Bells" or "White Christmas" or anything else I pick up on the internet. And coming soon is free long distance service. Or so they say.

The problem is I've been carrying this little wonder around for three weeks and I have only stored three numbers in it. I'm having a heck of a time learning how to do it.

When I tried to store my daughter's number, it kept ringing at her house, waking up her sick husband. And my granddaughter tells me that I kept ringing her number too, when I was attempting to store it.

What is worse is that I didn't hear her answer and didn't turn mine off, so she heard every word of conversation around my kitchen table for the next 20 minutes.

But aren't we seniors filled with wonder every day that we live? Young people take all of it for granted. It's only those of us that "remember when" who can fully appreciate the wonder of our world.

Not one of today's wonders, however, can compare with the wonder of that night 2000 years ago in a manger in Bethlehem.

"Grandmom" likes hearing from other senior citizens who enjoy aging at P.O. Box 216, Fort Atkinson, WI 53538.