Marriage: Keeping it flourishing by trusting in God

		Living the Scriptures  with St. Paul University  Catholic Center  Tom Braunger

Perhaps we took Mark's mention of Christ's words about marriage too literally: ". . . and the two become one flesh." But God's wonderful grace can help married couples get closer to that ideal.

After all, even during the marriage ceremony, there were signs that the "joining" was going to be a tad rough. I was very nervous, and stumbled over the term, "legal wife," blurting out "illegal wife." My wife, on the other hand, prophesied on our marriage by accidentally dropping off the word "obey" in the "love, honor, and obey" vow.

But we did share the core idea that there was God's grace and if we trusted in him, "coincidences" would get us though hard times.

27th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Sunday, Oct. 8, 2006) Gen 2:18-24 Ps 128:1-2, 3, 4-5, 6 Heb 2:9-11 Mk 10:2-16 or 10: 2-12

For example, a "coincidence" was that I decided to see a parish priest a few months before the ceremony to get some advice on marriage. He said to "be careful what you say during a fight, especially the first year. Stinging words can open wounds that last years."

Later, when we had a "disagreement," my tactic, instead of throwing out harsh words, was to go racing out of the house and walking around the block until I cooled down sufficiently. The neighbors must have thought, as I shot around the block so many times, that I was completely nuts. But it was a big help in getting through that first critical year.

Another "coincidence" was that we both decided to try a Marriage Encounter just as we were becoming complacent about our relationship. The sessions were intense but helped to refresh the love when it was needed.

The trust in God's grace, putting everything in God's hand, came many other times in our marriage: the anxiety in raising two children, the hectic job of both of us teaching, a mid-life crisis rearing up, even a three-month stay in a nursing home after I had fallen on ice and broken several bones.

When things became too jarring and terrifying, we'd just put it in Christ's hands.

The first few times were frightening and a little humbling, putting a crisis in someone else's hand. It was almost like stepping off a cliff, hoping there was a supporting edge below.

	Reflection questions • Do you recognize "coincidences" in your life that, on reflection, were probably God's help? • What things can you, your spouse, and God do to make your marriage even stronger than it is now? • What keeps you and your spouse from turning to God more often for help?

And sometimes, there was no answer that we could discern, times few and far between - but it did keep us from taking that help for granted and being grateful when it did appear.

So it came down to a trust in God's unconditional love and limitless guidance to help us if we asked for it.

But like a man having to ask for directions (which I still hate to do), it takes humility to admit when it's beyond us and also to count on someone's kindness. Yet with Christ, it was like asking a brother for help in a crisis - and God has come through so faithfully and completely.

Tom Braunger has been a St. Paul University Catholic Center community member for 32 years, working as part of a marriage preparation group.

St. Paul's Web site is www.stpaulscc.org

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