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• A Culture of Life • Eye on the Capitol • Grand Mom Marriage Matters -- Why is the church concerned about marriage?     • Defending marriage not 'religious' issue     • Marriage is spiritual joining of two people

Siblings: Value beyond price

		A Culture  of Life  Fr. Eric Nielsen

It is no secret that we live in the wealthiest society that has ever existed in history. Never have so many people had so much stuff with so many places to put it, and ironically, never have so many people said that they can't afford to have children.

Any parent living in an affluent neighborhood will naturally desire to give their children the same things that others have. Good clothes, trips in the winter to warmer climates, a big bedroom, their own TV with video games, and an up to date laptop all seem important when everyone else has them.

Furthermore, parents rightly desire that their children develop their natural talents in the arts and sports, and all of this costs money. Which is better - to give two or three children what the culture says they need, or spreading out thinly on six or seven what they REALLY need? Would it be wrong if I had a child that I couldn't send to college?

Things vs. virtue

I just played golf with such a "deprived" child, the youngest boy of a large farm family. His parents limited him to one high school sport, they never owned a television, and he must have never had a golf lesson either because after each stoke I would pick up his ball and carry it to where mine was.

He also just happened to be one of the most stellar, well balanced, and virtuous young men I have met. He exhibits faith, responsibility, honesty, self-control, good humor, and empathy. All are key virtues for a happy life.

Love most important

It is apparent that the greatest virtues are not acquired by hired piano teachers, but by acts of love, and it doesn't cost much to teach a child how to love. Children may complain about what they don't have, but to be happy they only need three things - food in their belly, a secure place to play, and love from their parents.

There are many just reasons that parents have for limiting the size of their family, and many a saint grew up in very holy homes with their own room and having a private tutor. I pray, however, that no one would ever decide not to have another child because they would not be able to provide him or her with these things.

Value of siblings

For all things being equal, the best gift you can give a child is younger siblings. That's because many of the virtues that lead to a happy life are all reinforced in a child when he is asked to help care for someone younger than himself. It is not fool proof, but it is much harder to be selfish and narcissistic in a family of nine than in one of three. And as we grow older, our closest friends are generally no longer those we went to college with, but our own brothers and sisters.

Of course parents should strive to give their children benefits that will help them get more out of life. I would have loved to have had private golf lessons as a child - my score would be lower and I would enjoy the game more. But gain a good golf swing in exchange for one less of my own six brothers and sisters? Never in a million years!

Fr. Eric Nielsen is pastor of St. Mary Help of Christians Parish, Sullivan, and St. Mary Parish, Palmyra. This column is syndicated by www.OneMoreSoul.com

Faithful citizens:
More resources for dioceses and parishes

		Eye on the  Capitol  John Huebscher

The onset of another campaign season means the Wisconsin Catholic Conference (WCC) will once again offer resources to dioceses and parishes to help Catholics reflect on their duty to be "faithful citizens." As it did two years ago, the WCC will offer a series of one-page issue summaries for use in the period between Labor Day and Election Day.

Because the values and principles of Catholic social teaching endure over time, the basics of the WCC's message will be pretty similar to that of 2004. The first installment will feature an introduction on the meaning of faithful citizenship.

Moral life

Four other installments will stress and explain the four "moral priorities for public life" identified by the bishops of the United States in the statement by the administrative board of the US Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). The four priorities, Protecting Human Life, Promoting Family Life, Pursuing Social Justice, and Practicing Global Solidarity are a cornerstone of Catholic Conference advocacy.

The discussion of each priority includes reference to public policy issues related to that priority. Readers are invited to evaluate their position on those issues - and the candidates' positions - in light of how they foster or undermine the priorities identified by the bishops in Faithful Citizenship.

The other two issues addressed are the subjects of the referenda on the November ballot: the constitutional amendment on marriage and the advisory vote on the death penalty. Taken together, these seven items will allow parishes and others to focus on one issue for seven of the eight weeks between Labor Day and the election.

Transform culture

While we offer this series in the election season, directing people to vote for specific candidates is not what the series is about. Our focus on priorities and issues is in keeping with the mission of the church in its teaching function to critique the culture and society. It is for Catholics, as laymen and laywomen, to transform the culture, utilizing channels and techniques of the secular political process, as they deem appropriate.

As always, the tasks of critiquing our culture and transforming society are ongoing activities that go well beyond any election cycle. Faithful citizens stay in the village square for the hard work that precedes and follows each Election Day.

This is also why the series addresses a broad range of issues. For the value of Faithful Citizenship is that it acquaints Catholics with the breadth of questions implicated by the moral priorities of the bishops. This broader view reinforces the ongoing work done by the USCCB and the WCC over the four years between presidential elections.

Ongoing education

One more point from two years ago bears repeating. The series is not meant to be anyone's only source of information. Rather, it should encourage citizens to learn more, ask additional questions, and engage in a deeper reflection as they take their faith into the public debates.

Contact the WCC at 608-257-0004 or visit the WCC Web site at www.wisconsincatholic.org and click on "Election 2006" to access this series and other voter resources. The series will also be published in the Catholic Herald.

John Huebscher is executive director of the Wisconsin Catholic Conference in Madison.

Through the years: We still keep rolling along

		Grand Mom  Audrey  Mettel Fixmer

A few days ago my daughter came home with a story that got me thinking about wheels, the delight we take in them, the function they serve, and how life has a way of bringing us around full circle back to where we started.

A friend of hers told her about going home to visit her parents and finding her father had just acquired an electric wheelchair.

He called out to her with an exuberant voice she had not heard in years, "Watch me! Watch me!" as he tooled around through the living room, dining room, kitchen, hallway, and back to the living room, laughing heartily all the way.

"It brought tears to my eyes," she said, "because it reminded me of when I was a little girl on a new tricycle, traveling the same circle through the same house, shouting the same words to Daddy, 'Watch me! Watch me!'"

Rock and roll

Our first wheels as infants are those of a baby buggy. One day a parent or sibling takes us out of the house for a stroll and voila! We find there's a whole big world out there to explore, a world of cement sidewalks and streets, trees, flowers, and birds, and big, noisy cars and trucks whizzing by.

When we move up to trikes, we get our first independent locomotion. What a thrill! Watch a small child proudly ride his trike up and down the block and see the pride and joy he takes in navigating alone.

Next we experience skates, roller skates which clamped onto the soles of shoes when we were kids, flying as if on wings with the skate "key" hanging from a string around our necks, bouncing merrily on our chests.

Today it is roller blades or skateboards but the effect is the same: absolute freedom of spirit. When we graduate to bigger bikes, we have another world open to us. We can travel further and can carry newspapers or groceries and now the wheels have a useful function.

The next step

The next big adventure is acquiring a driver's license. In driver's education classes, we learn about the rules of the road and that the motor vehicle can provide us with even greater freedom, but can also be a weapon of destruction.

Who cannot remember acquiring their first car? The wonderful world of driving cars stretches out over most of our lives. The cars themselves are always milestones that reflect our lifestyles. More importantly, the cars we drive acquire such a significant function in our lives that we cannot imagine getting along without them.

And then the dreaded moment comes when we must give up our driver's license. It is a brutal blow to realize that the disabilities that come with age - loss of vision, hearing, mobility - are critical to driving a car responsibly. The freedom that we cherish is stripped from us; we must now rely on others to get us to and from church, hospitals, and stores.

Coming full circle

But wait! All is not lost. When we suffer from joint problems, we can move more freely with the help of a walker. Now we can really fly.

And when our legs give out completely, we can get a wheelchair. And that brings us full circle, back to our stroller days. Now we arrive at the Cadillac of wheelchairs, the electric model for home and travel, the one that our friend's father delighted in.

How fortunate we are to live in an age in which so many gadgets and aids are available to the elderly. Considering the financial assistance one can get from Medicare, only pride would stand in the way of our continuing to live rich, happy lives until we roll into paradise - transportation provided free of charge - and shouting, "Watch me! Watch me!"

"Grandmom" likes hearing from other senior citizens who enjoy aging at P.O. Box 216, Fort Atkinson, WI 53538.

Why is the church concerned
about marriage?

Defending marriage not 'religious' issue By Eric Schiedermayer OFFICE OF EVANGELIZATION AND CATECHESIS, DIOCESE OF MADISON These two articles are the first in a series of articles exploring various aspects of marriage. The series is intended to provide information for Catholic citizens as they vote November 7 on a state Marriage Referendum. The referendum would amend the state constitution to provide that only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized in Wisconsin. As debate swirls around the upcoming marriage referendum, we often hear that Christians shouldn't try to "force their religion upon everybody else." While this statement resonates with our American sense of tolerance and pluralism, it has some serious flaws. One basic flaw in this statement is that marriage is not primarily a religious issue; first and foremost it is a human issue. Marriage reveals a foundational characteristic of the way that human beings are made, and is a natural institution that precedes any government or law. Truths about marriage are found in the order of nature and can be perceived by human reason alone, without reference to divine revelation. Reason tells us that marriage is the lifelong union of a man and a woman joined in an intimate community of life and love. One has only to stand naked in front of a mirror to begin to see the truth of this. Male or female, a single human body doesn't make sense by itself. Only when man and woman are viewed together does the picture become clear. Man and woman are made for each other and are in a sense incomplete without each other. When a man and a woman join together in sexual intercourse - the logical and natural connection implied by their bodies - the natural result is two-fold: an emotional bonding between them and the possible conception of a child. In other words, their sexual union creates an "intimate community of life and love" not only between themselves, but potentially expanding that community by another member. This specific intimate community defines marriage. Marriage is the natural human context for creating and caring for the next generation, helping to satisfy men and women's deep human longings for connection with each other, and children's longing to know and be known by their own mother and father. It is a grave mistake to see marriage as simply a relationship between adults. While not every marriage will be blessed with children, the good of children must take a prominent place in all discussions about the meaning and definition of marriage. Extensive social science research confirms that children flourish best under the long term care and nurture of a father and mother in an intact, married family. Children need and deserve both fathers and mothers. When marriage is entered into and gotten out of lightly, when it is no longer the boundary of sexual activity, or when it is allowed to be radically redefined, a host of personal and civic ills can be expected to follow. Eric Schiedermayer is the executive secretary for evangelization and catechesis for the Diocese of Madison. Before coming to Madison last fall, he served as the executive director of the Montana Catholic Conference.

Marriage is spiritual joining of two people By Jay Conzemius TRIBUNAL, DIOCESE OF MADISON Why is the Catholic Church concerned about marriage? The Catholic Church is concerned about marriage for two reasons: 1) it is considered a spiritual matter and 2) it is the vocation choice of most of its members. Why does the Church consider it a spiritual matter? In the weddings of most Christian churches you will hear the priest or minister state the following after the parties exchange their consent: "What God has joined let no one divide." These words are literally from Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew. Jesus explicitly describes marriage as a spiritual joining together of two people by God. In the Catholic Church, the spiritual joining of two Christians in marriage is considered a sacrament. The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us, "The whole liturgical life of the Church revolves around the Eucharistic sacrifice and the sacraments" (CCC, 1113). In addition it states, "Sacraments are 'powers that come forth' from the Body of Christ, which is ever-living and life-giving. They are actions of the Holy Spirit at work in his Body, the Church" (CCC, 1116). The Catholic Church not only has a right but an obligation to be concerned about the sacrament of marriage. So what does the Church say about marriage? In a recent statement by the U.S. Bishops, we are reminded: "Marriage, as instituted by God, is a faithful, exclusive, lifelong union of a man and a woman joined in an intimate community of life and love." In other words, the very God-given purpose of marriage is: 1) to develop a permanent and exclusive spiritual union between husband and wife and 2) to bear and raise children when God wills it. In other words, women and men are made for each other physically and spiritually. As Catholics, this is something we all should know. Jay Conzemius is director of the Tribunal of the Diocese of Madison. He and his wife, Sabina, are the parents of two children.